Vulnerability. Honesty. Authenticity. Bravely being yourself. All of these things can be hard. There is an insightful little book called, Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? ( https://amzn.to/3tOi2Nu ) My main takeaway is that when we share who we really are, and someone rejects us, we feel it deeply because they are rejecting who we are, not who we are pretending to be. That's why so many of us hide who we are. If someone rejects me, at least they never knew the real me.
I grew up moving a lot and despite having friends and family, a part of me often felt like an outsider. It's tempting to blame my Enneagram type (3wing4) but I think there's more at play that that.
Writing is one of my space spaces to fully express who I am. It began when I was thirteen and I found solace in unpacking my inner world and feelings on paper. Language often failed but I kept scratching away at it, attempting to capture the nuances of my experience and to make sense of the world within and outside of me.
Journaling was a private and protected space in which I learned to 'speak' through the shapes and shadows of words the beating of my heart. Then, in adulthood I began to pursue my childhood dream of becoming a writer. The decision to write opened a Pandora box of questions, doubts, and fears.
Am I good enough?
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